Article Written By: Angelica Weaver
To begin, I left a toxic job and a toxic relationship.
Those led me to coaching about wellness and purpose.
I struggled with how or why I had allowed these two into my life. It all boils down to burnout.
I couldn’t stand being alone with my feelings of rejection in relationships, and eventually in jobs that fell miles short from the original offer.
I was not enjoying my life AT ALL. I even thought I hated my life.
I constantly wondered about the meaning of life and I knew there had to be more to life than 9 to 5, like a balanced life; one in which success did not have to mean sacrificing health, relationships or success itself. One in which I could spend time with my loved ones, keep fit, do charity, be successful, and thrive without burning out. And I knew some (even if a few) that seemed to have it all.
Before you start reading let me tell you a little secret. Men do not burnout.
Surprised? So was I! While I was doing my market research to cater to you better, I found out that most men will consider burnout fake, or nonexistent. Do they experience stress? Sure! Is it true they don’t burnout… Possibly.
How can that be possible?
Most men are able to perform effective chunking, low to no multi-tasking, and blank out their minds in front of a fire (we live it today as TV channel surfing). They will say they take rejection for breakfast all through their lives, so they don’t seek for approval as badly.
Before you go running out and close the article yelling, “But this is a page for women,” consider this… It’s not MEN. It’s the male brain, or the left side of the brain that is able to do this. And therefore, you can develop these abilities. Let’s start from the third one.
The blank mind
Yes, your feminine mind has the ability to never shut off or shut up. And in order to de-stress, you need to stop it or at least slow it down and feed your left side of the brain.
How? Meditate daily. Start with one meditation block of seven minutes. My favorite is Yoga Nidra and I start right after lunch time. When you start meditating thoughts will come to you. Just say, “Hi thought, I’ll get to you in a minute,” and let it go. Your best trick to meditate effectively is focusing on your breathing while you scan your body to achieve deeper relaxation. The busier you are, the more you need to meditate. There are even free apps on your mobile phone so you can start your meditation practice.
“Yes, I heard you girl,” you might say. “What? Are you crazy? I wouldn’t be able to do everything I do!”
Let me ask you, are you sure? Most humans cannot multitask effectively, not while doing two identical processes at a time. While feminine multitasking is wired by nature, this type of multitasking typically refers to two very different processes, such as breastfeeding while being alert to possible danger, etc. The governments of the world did NOT go insane when they forbade texting or talking on your mobile while driving. While the act of driving a vehicle might be automatic to you, paying attention to traffic, pedestrians, or crossing animals while texting IS NOT. And driving my friend, requires your full attention, and so do important conversations, being present for your loved ones, and writing content for your work or business.
Not convinced yet? When you devote your full attention to something, anything, it will take you half the time. In addition, you will come out with double the quality, and it will massively reduce your stress.
I will take a bit longer on this one,
Chunking is about making time to have time. The key is how you get to do things while avoiding a packed schedule that would stress you.
Here are some tricks to get it done:
1) Do the things that are IMPORTANT, so they don’t become urgent FIRST. In this category, I usually include self-care. Spa time? Not really, or not what I am referring to; block one hour a day (at least) to read, meditate, and exercise. Don’t worry it’s not one hour each. If blocking an hour for yourself seems impossible, start with 7 minutes. Now, if you want to take down two birds with one stone (meditation and reduce multitasking), practice mindfulness instead – involving most of your senses.
2) Block times for family and friends. I know that is super hard if you’re a working mom. I try to do “smart multitasking” for that matter, which means I cook or bake while I work and set alarms to get my dish on time. I do the same with reading, meditating, exercising at home, and laundry.
3) Ditch your to do list. Yes, that’s right! Ditch your to do list. Pick the three most important things on those per day and only three. – Try it for a week, the rest will “magically” take care of itself. Trust me. Better even, don’t trust me, just try it for seven days!
4) Change the above three things as needed through the week. Think of your high school or college schedule and how some subjects happened every day, and some didn’t.
5) Block some personal time. No, this is not your hour for self. This personal time is just like when you ask for it at corporate – for emergencies. I block 1-3 hours per day for this matter.
Have fun building your schedule. My personal tip for this is to make your goals flexible using words like “by” and “about.” Yes, I am familiar and use the SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time constrained) goal system. However, by using the word “about” instead of using a specific date will melt stress away and keep your focused.
Need for approval
I believe the way both sexes relate is completely different.
Women seek approval because women are more social than men. For example, when women have a problem they will call for a friends meeting to gather opinions, which is also why it’s easier for them to hold grudges.
Men won’t, while they might go to a reunion even if they have a problem, they will not share it. They will do what they see fit for them. End of problem, ready for next challenge!
I could write a whole book on this last point. These two sentences will be enough for today to prove women like you and I can do, learn and adapt habits, behaviors, and beliefs that can eliminate stress from our lives and help us live better lives, still achieving everything we desire and want.
Angelica Weaver – MA Life Experience Education, Humanistic Counselor, Gestalt Education Specialist/ Therapist, Master Coach by the Transformation Academy, Master Coach in Strategic Intervention (currently getting certified).
Angelica holds more than 17 years experience in training, program design, business coaching, individual counseling, and group therapy. She has designed from Corporate Strategies to Individual Success Strategies.
Contact Information: Afinity.com
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