Article Written and Interviewed By: Debbie Stokes
When I think about dormant dreams, I can’t help but think about all those buried dreams I kept inside of me for so long… dreams I let fear control. The truth be told, some are still held inside of me because of fear. The fear of the unknown. The fear of being put in the spotlight. The fear of my talents and gifts not being accepted. Though I still have some fears, I have come a long way outside of my comfort zone, but I know I still have so much further to go. One thing I know for sure, the best thing I can do for myself right now is to keep getting prepared, so when the opportunity presents itself, I will be ready. Not being prepared can be disastrous, so I plan to be ready. My intention is for my writing to take me places my heart always wanted to go. So, I’m trusting God to continue to make a way out of no way because I realize He knows the path for me. He knows my outcome. He knows my purpose. And He knows what His intentions are for my life. For these reasons, I have no choice but to follow where He leads me, and to lean not to my own understanding.
With that said, I want to introduce you to Nedra Buckmire. She specializes in helping people to unleash their dormant dreams. Follow along as she gives you insight into dormant dreams and the journey life can lead you on if you dare to unleash them.
Nedra L. Buckmire is a transformational catalyst who inspires hope, ignites passions, and rewrites futures through mentoring and coaching privately, internationally, and in corporate America. She is a certified master life and empowerment coach with Dream Releaser Coaching, an author, mentor, and a speaker who ignites the flames of passion and focus, enabling others to discover their why. She is currently pursuing her degree in Psychology and is committed to remain a life-long learner.
3WV: Everybody has a story. Tell us about your story and how it led you to be the person you are today.
Nedra: My story is one of facing truth, redefining my truth, and overcoming what was meant to destroy me. I’ve overcome sexual abuse, lack of self-esteem, lack of confidence, and not believing I was able to achieve or operate on the level of where I am today. When you are able to tell a story that was once a secret tucked away, never mentioned or faced, you know you are a walking testimony of true freedom. This was the truth I had to face—sexual abuse and every emotion that goes along with walking through to wholeness. I am free from what tried to hold me hostage to a broken past, and infiltrate and destabilize my future. I truly believe what I experienced was meant to destroy me physically, emotionally, personally, spiritually, and relationally. Yet, I am victorious.
I was able to walk through what lingered after abuse through prayer, counseling, and my personal relationship as a believer in Christ. I am no longer a victim, but victorious over what could have halted me from ever speaking out and seeking the healing I desperately needed. I am now able to speak life to others who have experienced similar situations.
Being restored and whole empowered me to redefine my truth, as my history could no longer deter and terminate what I was authentically born to do—inspire hope, ignite passions, and rewrite futures. I found hope when I was hopeless. It charged and ignited a passion within me to reach others who felt they weren’t able to excel because of whatever they experienced or didn’t believe they could achieve. This fueled me and continues to drive me today. This is how my story unfolded and continues to be revealed before my eyes as God strengthens me to empower others to see them as He has uniquely created them to be.
3WV: Can you tell us about the abuse you suffered in your past that could have broken you, but it didn’t stop you?
Nedra: I experienced the sexual abuse as a young girl. It was someone who I trusted as a father figure. With each encounter that took place, I would be frozen as if I were lost in time and space. My counselor told me I was in shock. When you’re in shock, your emotions and body are trying to survive the account the best way you know how. Therefore, you almost feel as if you are outside of your body at the moment its taking place. What does a young girl do when a grown man takes advantage of her innocence? She does her best to survive and tucks the egregious criminal behavior away because it’s too much to deal with at that moment in her life.
The abuse could have kept me from functioning as an emotionally whole-healthy person. For many years I didn’t face the abuse or trauma I experienced, but when I decided enough was enough, I fought to be free. Once my mind was made up, I had to walk through the memories, feeling the same anger and confusion as if I was experiencing it all over again. I couldn’t remain halted in the past. I had to pursue wholeness. With countless conversations with my husband, continual prayers asking God to free me from the immobilizing past, and counseling; I emerged whole. I had to fight for freedom because I refused to be a statistic of what could have been. Many still live in turmoil from the experience of their past, whether abuse or something else that has indelibly impacted their existence.
3WV: What have you learned about yourself after going through your experiences?
Nedra: Life is filled with a myriad of experiences—some are amazing, but some are really tough. As I’ve overcome daunting experiences in my life, I wholeheartedly believe others can experience the same breakthrough. For me, it was breaking through the lies of what I wasn’t able to achieve that plagued me. The lies said—I couldn’t, I wouldn’t be anything more than what I was at the particular moment in time. Breaking through the barriers in my heart and mind caused me to believe again—in me!
I learned throughout my process that I am resilient. I am unique. I am the answer to someone doubting they can or will achieve what they may be questioning in their heart. I’ve understood that being uniquely me is what draws those that are meant to hear my message of hope and inspiration. I have learned desiring to be someone else makes one an inferior duplication of an original; therefore, being unique is absolutely essential to one’s success.
3WV: You mentioned you left corporate America as a senior executive assistant for a major media and entertainment company. Did you do that to start your own business? If so, what was that mental process like for you, and what was it like to take that risk?
Nedra: August 2nd of this year was my last day in corporate America as an employee. I specifically say as an employee because I am already in negotiations to return to host empowerment workshops. I have no regrets concerning my experience with where I last worked. I loved my journey, and absolutely loved what I did, and whom I supported in my role as a senior executive assistant. I worked for one of the eight leaders of a large media entertainment company.
My role ended due to a company merger. However, I was offered a few positions to remain with the organization. I was tremendously blessed to have been afforded those opportunities. I chose to leave and pursue building my brand and business. At the time my role ended, Hope Fulfilled Life Coaching had launched a few years prior. I worked with clients intermittently over the past four years while working full time and completing my graduate degree in psychology, which will be completed in March 2020. Yes! All of these major commitments were in place while I continued to speak nationally and internationally, in addition to pastoring alongside my husband.
The end of my role and 12 years with my former company was perfectly suited for me to devote 100% to building my business. Did I have concerns? Yes, I did. I was concerned if this was the right time to launch and further build my brand and business. After consulting with my husband and prayer, I felt peace and leaped into my next season of life. It is much easier to get up and go to a job, even one you love, than it is building a business. It is tremendously harder! You go from a guaranteed salary and bonus, executive office perks and privileges, to working for every penny and client you secure. As I mentioned, I loved what I did and who I did it for. My experience in corporate America groomed and prepared me for what I am building now. I don’t regret my decision nor my experience.
I had time to thoroughly think through my decision and what the impact would be for me personally, as well as my family. I weighed the cons and benefits of remaining in corporate America as an employee vs. building my brand and business. There are risk factors involved either way. Every situation is different but one still needs to seek counsel when making major decisions concerning their future. It doesn’t mean don’t pursue your dreams. It does mean create a plan, then work the plan until you are able to take the next step in your future. There are always risks when launching a business. One must be intentional and understand the ramifications of every decision.
3WV: What inspired you to start your empowerment and coaching business?
Nedra: What’s funny is I feel as if I fell into coaching. Let me explain. Approximately four years ago, I had several women that began to ask me if I could mentor them. When they asked, I immediately begin to think what could I do to ensure I gave them my absolute best. This desire drove me to research coaching programs. I realize coaching and mentoring are two different mechanisms utilized to empower individuals. However, I would utilize what I learned to add to what I already knew to maximum their experience. What I didn’t stop to realize is there was already something resident within me they already saw, that drew them to me. My husband eloquently pointed this out to me. He told me, “Did you ever think for a moment what you already possessed was what drew them to you.” Those words hit me like a ton of bricks. Therefore, I enrolled in a coaching program.
I completed the coaching program and become a certified life coach. Then, I completed an additional segment, which confers the title master coach.
3WV: In your business, you inspire women to hope, you ignite passions, and you help to rewrite futures. How?
Nedra: Yes, I inspire hope where hope has been lost. Hope is an expectation of something desired. In my five-week study journal, “Unlikely But Chosen,” I define hope as heightened, optimism, passionately, expecting. ™ When an expectation is delayed or seemingly denied, it can produce fear and doubt, and immobilize one from moving forward. I help women activate dormant dreams, visions or plans when they’ve stopped believing it could be accomplished. When something is dormant, its inactive and development is arrested.
When you inspire someone, you breathe life into what once may have seemed unattainable. It helps them to dream and believe again. I ignite the passion that once burned within them to get moving. Their futures are rewritten because they are no longer stagnant and halted by inaction. They begin to put actionable steps in place achieving one goal at a time. Whereas, remaining stagnant, indecisive, and wishing they would have or should have done something, leaves them in the same place—stuck and unfulfilled.
This is how their futures are rewritten. They shift their future from inactive, stagnant, and simply being frustrated—to active, achieving goals, and walking in what they’ve longed for and now can realize.
3WV: How did you empower yourself going through your past, and how do you now?
Nedra: In the past and presently, I must remain connected to my source of strength, peace, creative inspiration, and thought regulator, which is Christ my savior. I’m responsible for vitally important areas in my business, personal life, speaking events, and ministry engagements. I’ve learned how to reset when needed. It’s actually necessary for me to reset in order to function at an optimal capacity. I reset by spending time alone away from everyone and everything, and just rest. During this time, I’m not being strategic, finding a solution, creating a coaching or empowerment program, writing a chapter in my book, or developing a lesson. I’ll get a massage, pedicure or manicure. It is imperative for me to have this time in order to refresh and refuel for what’s next. What’s funny is while I’m resetting, I’ll often have thoughts of inspiration that spurred my next course, book, webinar or coaching tool. Resetting helps me think clearly and ignites my creative ability to procure answers for my clientele.
After I’ve reset, I am able to empower myself by reading inspirational books, staying connected to my industry’s trends, and endeavoring to remain relevant in the areas I currently function and serve.
3WV: How did your past help shape your future?
Nedra: My past provoked me to desire greater aspirations for myself. As I’ve previously stated, I believe it was intended to seal my fate. Yet, it didn’t define or hinder but propelled my future. My past was like an albatross holding me in a powerless state. I was tethered to being complacent and not thriving. Once I was able to see beyond my situation, I was determined to walk in wholeness, freedom, and redeem my future. My past was definitely influential in birthing a future replete with vision, inspiration, hope, and the ability to impact other’s lives because I believed I was worth the fight.
Experiencing what I did, increased the fighter within me. It bolstered my determination to no longer give up on myself, but to pursue fervently what I desired to see accomplished in my life.
3WV: Along your bumpy road in life, what kept you dreaming?
Nedra: Once I was able to see beyond what attempted to halt me, I’d begin to see glimpses of what I desired and could become. I can remember in my early years of administrative work as a secretary I’d desired to work for executives at the c-suite level. I’d literally envisioned myself in the role working in that capacity. At the time, I didn’t know when it would happen or if it would happen, but I had a vision of what I desired. Guess what, I made it there. This fueled my ability to keep dreaming.
It matters who surrounds you in every season of life. I firmly believe in having people that can speak to your moment no matter where you are in life, and breathe energy to your specific moment. God placed people around me that began to speak life to the seed of greatness within me, which awakened my ability to dream bigger. They saw certain qualities, abilities, characteristics, and encouraged me to reach higher. My increased confidence kept my dreams alive.
3WV: You talk a lot about dormant dreams. Define the term dormant dreams and why it matters? Give some ways people can recognize they have dormant dreams?
Nedra: When a dream is dormant, it is inactive within an individual. It is arrested in its development, but it still nudges the person’s heart and mind. A dormant dream can be a book someone desires to write, a course someone wants to take, a podcast someone wants to start; yet they allow any and everything to stop them. At a certain point, they resolve it won’t happen, and officially let it die without ever birthing what they desired. They may believe no one will listen to the podcast, or feel they are unqualified to write the book, thinking no one will buy or read it. They stifle their thoughts, desires, and aspirations for countless reasons. In my five-week study journal, “Unlikely But Chosen,” I describe a dream as a divinely, realized, expectation, awaiting, manifestation. ™ The dream must be manifested and released, which is why it beckons from within them. The dream is there for a reason, and must be cultivated and unleashed.
When a dream is dormant—it can’t reach anyone, it can’t solve a problem, it can’t empower anyone, it can’t lift, inspire, or ignite anyone. In order for a dream to do any of these things, it must be released from its constraints. When something is constrained, it’s held in bondage. It’s confined and constricted, and unable to move freely. Yet, when it’s unleashed, it can soar and emboldened others by the power of its reach. This is why unleashing dormant dreams are absolutely essential.
3WV: Can you give some steps for people to unleash their sleeping/dormant dreams?
Nedra: If one desires to unleash a sleeping/dormant dream, they must:
- Be totally honest with themselves and face the true reason why they won’t move forward – Is it fear, lack of confidence, or not knowing what to do to even began to release it? All of these can be tackled and overcome.
- Address why any of the above reasons are in existence – It will be helpful to know why you suppressed them to understand if they are connected to certain triggers you may come across in the future.
- Seek help in identifying your dream – Hire a coach or secure a mentor. Do you know what you want to do? Do you have clarity? This will be necessary before moving forward.
- Set SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Timely) goals to see your dream come to pass – You will need a plan to guide you through what you desire to bring to fruition. Actionable steps will be needed to bring it from your heart, to paper, to realization.
3WV: Being a minister, what scripture has kept you rooted and grounded in your life?
Nedra: I have several that have been significant in my journey and remain relevant today. Jeremiah 29:11 speaks life to me continually.
In the New Kings James version, it states:
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
I also love The Message version which states:
I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.
Not matter what I face, I know God has a plan for me, an expected end, a hope, and a future. In these words, I can rest. God knows what He is doing.
3WV: Why do you think it’s important to share your past with others?
Nedra: I believe it strengthens others to know they are not alone, and what I have overcome they can overcome too. In fact, if they have experienced something similar to what I have, it can give them hope. People desire to identify with others and have a point of connectedness. We can share our past, but we can’t stay there, we must move forward towards healing and restoration. When we are able to share our story, it carries the ability to liberate others to share their story.
3WV: Can you give some encouraging or empowering words that could help or inspire women?
Nedra: In order to achieve what you aspire to, you must be willing to leave what’s already been accomplished. The desire to change always compels an exchange of something for something else. What are you desiring to exchange? Are you ready for your alternate result? If you are ready for something new, something different, you will have to take action. I encourage you to move beyond complacency, what’s familiar, or what may be safe. Take the leap. I believe in you. It’s time for you to believe in yourself!
3WV: If someone wanted to contact you, how can they reach you?
Nedra: I can be contacted via the avenues below.
Facebook: Nedra Buckmire or Hope Fulfilled Empowerment
** Book below can be purchased on her Website **
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