By: Debbie Stokes
Recently, I watched a video that triggered a question in my mind. Why don’t women support each other? Why do we leave each other out to fight alone? These questions resonated so deep in my soul that I felt compelled to write about it. As a matter of fact, not only did I want to write about it, I wanted to start a conversation to hear different perspectives of why women turn away from their sisters, and I’m not talking about blood sisters.
Let’s go deeper, why don’t you support your sister? The “You” is the person reading this article right now.
Be honest, how many times have you turned away from a women simply asking for support that wouldn’t have cost you a dime?
Since the beginning of time, God created women to be a helpmate, to nurture, and to support. And for the most part, we do for our families and friends. Yet, when it comes to other women, we turn a blind eye to one another. Again, I ask “Why?”
Being an only girl with three brothers, I learned a lot about women, and I struggled with understanding why women act the way they do when it comes to supporting each other. In fact, it goes back to my feelings when I was younger. What I believe is that some women don’t help each other for these reasons:
- Some don’t want another to surpass them
- Some don’t help because they are jealous for whatever reason
- Some don’t help because they refuse to give of themselves
- Some don’t know how to relate to others so they avoid them
- Some refuse to relate to others outside of their comfort zone
- For some, it’s all about building themselves up
- Some simply don’t care or just choose not to help
You may wonder, what do I mean by support. Well, I’m talking about supporting your sister with your love, deeds, words, and in some instances, it may be your money. Now, let me make it clear… money is not what I’m focusing on here because everyone can’t provide funds. But it boggles my mind, how women won’t do the smallest things for each other: like speak, encourage, honor, show up for, be kind to or be open to help when asked, as in a favor. Which category do you fall in? However, don’t get me wrong, there are some women who will give of themselves freely and without reservations. It is for this reason, I want to take this time to applaud you wholeheartedly, and say thanks for being the women you are. You’re the best! Now, back to the other women.
Is it really that hard to support each other? Is it that hard to give of yourself?
I know there are some who would answer the above questions with:
- I don’t know her well enough.
- She doesn’t respond to me the way I would prefer.
- What has she done for me?
- Why should I or something to that effect?
Remember – You are not judged by what you do in your eyes… you are judged by what you don’t do in God’s eyes. So question, who have you helped?
My 3 words of advice to those who don’t give support:
- Learn to love women pass YOU, so the love can be magnified in God’s eyes.
- Provide encouragement, help or give advice whenever you can. If you don’t get it back, remember it’s not about what they do, but what you do. God wants us to be givers.
- Try to understand and contribute to a purpose outside of yours because that’s when you truly begin to share or give of yourself. In doing so, blessings will rain on you. Keeping in mind, many positive things can happen when you tear down the walls you have built to keep people out. In fact, you’ll never know from where you will gain more friends or connections unless your open your heart and mind to what’s possible. So, let go and see how women relationships can blossom in your life. Please show me that all the frustration I was feeling when I wrote this article is just in my head, and not true.
Our challenge to you for 30 days: 1) Make contact with at least one woman you don’t know per day and support her using your talents, actions, words or time. 2) Start a simple conversation with her via social media or as you go about your day. The object is to do one or some of the following: to get to know something about her, to give words of encouragement, to collaborate, to speak, to offer useful information to her or to gain information. Challenge dates 2/11 – 3/11.
** To join the challenge, click this link https://bit.ly/2MYZLDn and sign into the post on Facebook.
We’re asking just one small favor, #participate and show us you are in agreement with supporting women.